Poem, slightly revised version
"Dirt"
Wipe it off my face
Smile again
Just to catch more dirt
Burning in my eyes
Bleeding through teeth
But keep smiling
And there's just more
More and more and more
People throwing dirt
But I keep smiling
How do I handle this?
Obviously there is something wrong
A cut in the wood I've so carefully placed
Spent years carving that beautiful
Then someone pushes it off
Catches the floor with a painful thud
I felt that floor
Didn't you?
Yes, I felt it
I'm bleeding too
But don't show it
I don't let people see me hurt
Just smile
And catch more dirt
I make another wonderful piece of art
And then they knock it off again
This time it cracks
And I feel my heart stop
But smile
And they throw dirt
I stand there
And stand there
I'm crying
But can they tell?
Blood is dripping from my eyes
Shining red off lips
As it flows down
And they throw dirt
Do I feel the blood?
No
I don't feel the blood
But I feel them
I feel those people in front of me
Behind me
Around me
They are there
But what's past them?
Everything is past them
Get the hell out of my way
I'll taste the blood
My own blood
And it is sweet
Oh God, is it sweet
I'll feel it
And I'll throw dirt
I'll throw rocks
They want to smile?
I'll throw rocks
Damn well better move
Beyond you is what I want
I can't have it?
I can't get there?
Here I come
A blood-laced fence lies beyond
Gated with fear
Change
Locked tight
Welded, fused
Hate-locks are strong
Blood-laced growing
Covering
But I climb the fence
And it hurts
And I bleed
Atop the fence
But it grows more
I see the gate
All I need to do is jump
Jump over the fence, and run past the gate
The path beyond
Lined with dust and soot
I will build with it
I will live
Ash and blood
Makes Life
I jump the fence
The gate moves
It's still in front
That God damned gate
I reach
Grab
My skin burns
I don't scream
Just grip harder
Bend
Blisters turn to char
Char falls off bone
But I pull harder
The Gate bends
I hear it screeching
A sound
Ears curl
My spine shutters
Heart stops
But I tear the gate
I'm dying
But I pull the gate
They are behind me again
But not throwing dirt
Not throwing rocks
Pulling me back
Shaking hands grasp my flesh
Holding me
But I rip the gate
That God damned gate
It's open
Barely
Not open
Broken
I see the ashy path ahead
Lined with flowers
Dead, but still there
A black sky raining
But I can't feel it
I turn and yell
But they can't hear me
They drag
I pull
Through the opening
And they tear my flesh
But they hold still
I set a foot out
And I hear nothing
I love it
I'm bleeding
I'm covered in ash
I'm torn
I'm covered in dirt
But I feel the rain
I can feel the rain
Mouth open, I drink
I don't taste
But I feel the rain
The rain washes me
The dirt is mud
Thick and ever present
The rain washes me
Blood thins, runs off
It's ever present
Then I'm clean
But the rain still falls
I feel the rain
My skin is stained
Earth of dirt
Human of blood
Dead of ash
Alive with rain
I look back at the gate
But it's not there
Where's the gate?
Alone in the rain
Should I have stayed?
