Robbie's Blog

This one is definitely not done...but I like the start, I believe it has a very broad, open potential for more, but it's a start...

"Dreams"

Do you remember your dreams?
I remember
Every one
And my nightmares?
The best.

I love my dreams
They're consistent
Linear paths of perception
Of time
Of progress
A guideline.

So much better than a reality
Vibrant
Alive.

If I dream
I'm sure I'll wake
When awake
I don't know
If I'll next sleep
By death or by night.

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"Dirt"

Wipe it off my face
Smile again
Just to catch more dirt

Burning in my eyes
Bleeding through teeth
But keep smiling

And there's just more
More and more and more
People throwing dirt
But I keep smiling

How do I handle this?

Obviously there is something wrong
A cut in the wood I've so carefully placed
Spent years carving that beautiful
Then someone pushes it off
Catches the floor with a painful thud

I felt that floor
Didn't you?
Yes, I felt it
I'm bleeding too
But don't show it

I don't let people see me hurt
Just smile
And catch more dirt

I make another wonderful piece of art
And then they knock it off again
This time it cracks
And I feel my heart stop
But smile
And they throw dirt

I stand there
And stand there
I'm crying
But can they tell?

Blood is dripping from my eyes
Shining red off lips
As it flows down
And they throw dirt

Do I feel the blood?
No
I don't feel the blood

But I feel them
I feel those people in front of me
Behind me
Around me

They are there
But what's past them?

Everything is past them
Get the hell out of my way
I'll taste the blood
My own blood

And it is sweet
Oh God, is it sweet
I'll feel it
And I'll throw dirt

I'll throw rocks
They want to smile?
I'll throw rocks
Damn well better move

Beyond you is what I want
I can't have it?
I can't get there?
Here I come

A blood-laced fence lies beyond
Gated with fear
Change
Locked tight
Welded, fused
Hate-locks are strong

Blood-laced growing
Covering
But I climb the fence
And it hurts
And I bleed

Atop the fence
But it grows more
I see the gate
All I need to do is jump
Jump over the fence, and run past the gate

The path beyond
Lined with dust and soot
I will build with it
I will live

Ash and blood
Makes Life

I jump the fence
The gate moves
It's still in front
That God damned gate

I reach
Grab
My skin burns
I don't scream
Just grip harder
Bend

Blisters turn to char
Char falls off bone
But I pull harder
The Gate bends

I hear it screeching
A sound
Ears curl
My spine shutters
Heart stops
But I tear the gate

I'm dying
But I pull the gate

They are behind me again
But not throwing dirt
Not throwing rocks
Pulling me back

Shaking hands grasp my flesh
Holding me
But I rip the gate

That God damned gate
It's open
Barely
Not open
Broken

I see the ashy path ahead
Lined with flowers
Dead, but still there
A black sky raining
But I can't feel it

I turn and yell
But they can't hear me
They drag

I pull
Through the opening
And they tear my flesh
But they hold still

I set a foot out
And I hear nothing
I love it

I'm bleeding
I'm covered in ash
I'm torn
I'm covered in dirt
But I feel the rain

I can feel the rain
Mouth open, I drink
I don't taste
But I feel the rain

The rain washes me
The dirt is mud
Thick and ever present

The rain washes me
Blood thins, runs off
It's ever present

Then I'm clean
But the rain still falls
I feel the rain

My skin is stained
Earth of dirt
Human of blood
Dead of ash
Alive with rain

I look back at the gate
But it's not there
Where's the gate?

Alone in the rain
Should I have stayed?

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Dirt

Wipe it off your face
Smile again
Just to catch more dirt

Burning in your eyes
Bleeding through your teeth
But you keep smiling

And there's just more
More and more and more
People throwing dirt
But you keep smiling

How do you handle this?

Obviously there is something wrong
A cut in the wood you've so carefully placed
You spent years carving that beautiful face
Then someone pushes it off
Catches the floor with a painful thud

You felt that floor
Didn't you?
Yes, you felt it
You're bleeding too
But you don't show it

You don't let people see you hurt
You just smile
And catch more dirt

You make another wonderful piece of art
And then they knock it off again
This time it cracks
And you feel your heart stop
But you smile
And they throw dirt

You stand there
And stand there
You're crying
But can they tell?

Blood is dripping from your eyes
Shining red of your lips
As it flows down
And they throw dirt

Do you feel the blood?
No
You don't feel the blood

But you feel them
You feel those people in front of you
Behind you
Around you

They are there
But what's past them?

Everything is past them
Get the hell out of my way
You'll taste the blood
Your own blood

And it is sweet
Oh God, is it sweet
You'll feel it
And I'll throw dirt

I'll throw rocks
You want to smile?
I'll throw rocks
Damn well better move

Beyond you is what I want
I can't have it?
I can't get there?
Here I come

A blood-lined fence lies beyond
Gated with fear
Change
Locked tight
Welded, fused
Hate locks are strong

Blood-lines growing
Covering
But I climb
And it hurts
And I bleed

Atop the fence
But it grows more
I see the gate
All I need to do is jump
Jump over the fence, and run past the gate

The path beyond
Lined with dust and soot
I will build with it
I will live

Ash and blood
Makes Life

I jump the fence
The gate moves
It's still in front
That God damned gate

I reach
Grab
My skin burns
I don't scream
Just grip harder
Bend

Blisters turn to char
Char falls off bone
But I pull harder
The Gate bends

I hear it screeching
A sound
Ears curl
My spine shutters
Heart stops
But I tear the gate

I'm dying
But I pull the gate

They are behind me again
But not throwing dirt
Not throwing rocks
Pulling me back

Shaking hands grasp my flesh
Holding me
But I rip the gate

That God damned gate
It's open
Barely
Not open
Broken

I see the ashy path ahead
Lined with flowers
Dead, but still there
A black sky raining hope
But I can't feel it

I turn and yell
But they can't hear me
They pull

I drag
Through the opening
And they tear my flesh
But they hold still

I set a foot out
And I hear nothing
I love it

I'm bleeding
I'm covered in ash
I'm torn
I'm covered in dirt
But I feel the rain

I can feel the rain
Mouth open, I drink
I don't taste
But I feel the rain

The rain washes me
The dirt is mud
Thick and ever present

The rain washes me
Blood thins, runs off
It's ever present

Then I'm clean
But the rain still falls
I feel the rain

My skin is stained
Earth of dirt
Human of blood
Dead of ash
Alive with rain

I look back at the gate
But it's not there
Where's the gate?

Alone in the rain
Should I have stayed?

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Dirt

Wipe it off your face
Smile again
Just to catch more dirt

Burning in your eyes
Bleeding through your teeth
But you keep smiling

And there's just more
More and more and more
People throwing dirt
But you keep smiling

How do you handle this?

Obviously there is something wrong
A cut in the wood you've so carefully placed
You spent years carving that beautiful face
Then someone pushes it off
Catches the floor with a painful thud

You felt that floor
Didn't you?
Yes, you felt it
You're bleeding too
But you don't show it

You don't let people see you hurt
You just smile
And catch more dirt

You make another wonderful piece of art
And then they knock it off again
This time it cracks
And you feel your heart stop
But you smile
And they throw dirt

You stand there
And stand there
You're crying
But can they tell?

Blood is dripping from your eyes
Shining red of your lips
As it flows down
And they throw dirt

Do you feel the blood?
No
You don't feel the blood

But you feel them
You feel those people in front of you
Behind you
Around you

They are there
But what's past them?

Everything is past them
Get the hell out of my way
You'll taste the blood
Your own blood

And it is sweet
Oh God, is it sweet
You'll feel it
And I'll throw dirt

I'll throw rocks
You want to smile?
I'll throw rocks
Damn well better move

Beyond you is what I want
I can't have it?
I can't get there?
Here I come

A blood-lined fence lies beyond
Gated with fear
Change
Locked tight
Welded, fused
Hate locks are strong

Blood-lines growing
Covering
But I climb
And it hurts
And I bleed

Atop the fence
But it grows more
I see the gate
All I need to do is jump
Jump over the fence, and run past the gate

The path beyond
Lined with dust and soot
I will build with it
I will live

Ash and blood
Makes Life

I jump the fence
The gate moves
It's still in front
That God damned gate

I reach
Grab
My skin burns
I don't scream
Just grip harder
Bend

Blisters turn to char
Char falls off bone
But I pull harder
The Gate bends

I hear it screeching
A sound
Ears curl
My spine shutters
Heart stops
But I tear the gate

I'm dying
But I pull the gate

They are behind me again
But not throwing dirt
Not throwing rocks
Pulling me back

Shaking hands grasp my flesh
Holding me
But I rip the gate

That God damned gate
It's open
Barely
Not open
Broken

I see the ashy path ahead
Lined with flowers
Dead, but still there
A black sky raining hope
But I can't feel it

I turn and yell
But they can't hear me
They pull

I drag
Through the opening
And they tear my flesh
But they hold still

I set a foot out
And I hear nothing
I love it

I'm bleeding
I'm covered in ash
I'm torn
I'm covered in dirt
But I feel the rain

I can feel the rain
Mouth open, I drink
I don't taste
But I feel the rain

The rain washes me
The dirt is mud
Thick and ever present

The rain washes me
Blood thins, runs off
It's ever present

Then I'm clean
But the rain still falls
I feel the rain

My skin is stained
Earth of dirt
Human of blood
Dead of ash
Alive with rain

I look back at the gate
But it's not there
Where's the gate?

Alone in the rain
Should I have stayed?

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Frustration

Fuck it
Never a solution
To a problem I can't see

Answer held high above
Strangled
Atop a sharp peak

I can't reach them
God damn it
Stop taunting me

It's right there
But what
I don't know

The answer
Is there?
What about the problem?

Is it real?
I can feel it
It hurts
Sad
Crying hurt

Tears fall from
The answer's peak
Land on my bloody mind
Sting, burn, blister

I can't move
Why can't I move?

Scream
Yell
I hear my echo
It screams back

He doesn't know either
Why are the answers so high?

Is this fair?
Is this right?

I yell again
But I don't hear my echo
Where is he?

Up with the answers?
Is that me?
What's that about to jump?

Maybe that would be the problem
Would the answers follow?
Jump

Should he jump?
The answers
Where'd they go?

They're gone
Jump
God damn it
Jump

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